


I Took Too Many Hits Off This Memory

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Hopeful Ending, post 5x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 11:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14212656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: After her heart to heart with Deke, Jemma heads to the lab and finds out that Deke being her grandson is not the only surprise the cosmos has in store for her





	I Took Too Many Hits Off This Memory

**Author's Note:**

> This was written post 5x14 and then edited tonight so it's not canon after 5x14 but I really liked this one so here we go. I hope you guys enjoy!

He hadn’t expected her to throw up.

He hadn’t expected her to cry, curling in on herself and her body shaking with sobs as she did so.

He hadn’t expected her to be this distressed at the news, this upset and broken and devasted.

He knew he shouldn’t have expected rainbows and sunshine and flying ponies, but he had expected more than this, a bigger reaction, a more welcoming familiar reaction. A smile, something that even acknowledged that they were family.

But not this… whatever this was.

“Jemma?” he asked after a moment, once there seemed to be a break in the sobs and the retching. “Jemma, are you… are you okay?” He reached forward with a tentative hand, and touched her shoulder, wanting nothing more than to offer her comfort but all she did at his touch was flinch and pull away from it, as thought it had hurt her, burnt her.

“I need to…” she muttered, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand, standing up on wobbly legs. “I need to get to the lab.”

He rose too, reaching out and supporting her, ignoring her as she tried to pull away from him as though she couldn’t bear the thought that he was helping her, that he would want to help her. He tried not to be hurt by it, she had suffered a lot today too, thought she was trying to hide it it seemed. Maybe this was just her way of coping. “Should you… should you be going into the lab? In your… in your condition?” Not that he knew what her condition was, it just seemed like a bad idea to let her go to the lab.

“I have to,” she whispered, as if there was no other choice. As if she _had_ to go to the lab or the end of the world would happen right now. “I have to.” She shook her head, then looked like she regretted standing up, as if a wave of nausea had washed over her suddenly. She placed her hand on the wall and using it to support herself before leaning down, throwing up once more, her stomach contents splattering on the floor, and in-between the retches, Deke heard the sobs, the very sounds tearing through his heart. He tried to push the thoughts of his mother from his mind at this point, at how similar the two the two women sounded when they cried because the last thing that he needed now was to remember what it had been like when she had died.

“Then let me help you,” he offered, his hand on her shoulder as she stood up, giving it a gentle reassuring squeeze, letting her know that he was there for her. “Jemma, you can’t do this alone. Please, don’t do this alone.”

Silence from Jemma, the woman still heaving heavily, trying to get her breath back after throwing up.

“Let me help you,” he repeated, meeting his eyes and hoping that he could convey love and emotion in them, be the support that she needed at this point in time.

She stared at him for a number of moments, before nodding, wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand as she did so.

“Okay.”

***

He stood back as she waited for the results to come through, watching Jemma, his _grandmother,_ react to the results, react to what was going on on the screen. He had no idea what she was waiting for, his mind racing with a hundred different ideas to what could possibly be wrong with her and when he saw her slump forward, her head coming to rest in her hands and sobbing, he knew that it wasn’t good news.

“Jemma… what’s wrong?” he asked, approaching her, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder. He felt it shaking, and after a number of minutes she looked up at him, her eyes red and blotchy.

“I’m pregnant,” she whispered, her voice low and gentle, as though the very revelation shocked her. “I’m pregnant, I mean… it’s obvious, I should have noticed, I should have known I just thought…”

“Hey,” he reassured (well he _hoped_ he was being reassuring), as he pulled up a chair and sat in it beside her, smiling at her. “You’ve been through a lot, you’ve been to the future, you’ve come back here, you were in the Framework, if you missed this, I don’t think you can blame yourself.”

“I suppose,” she sighed.

“And isn’t this what you wanted? A family? A future with Fitz?”

“I can’t… this isn’t the correct time, not when everyone hates him. Not after what he did. Daisy, May, they haven’t been down to see him, they won’t go down to see him.  Daisy hasn’t even looked at me after what happened.”

“What happened wasn’t your fault…”

“I should have known, I should have noticed that something was wrong. I was too caught up in everything else, saving the world, working on the rift, helping Elena… I didn’t even know that my husband was hurting, that all of this was happening… What kind of wife am I? What kind of friend am I?”

“The best. My mom, she was always going on about how much her parents loved each other, how much they loved her, and how much they loved their friends, their family. She told me everything about them, how big their hearts were. Honestly, at times it was kind of sickening and annoying,” he told her, watching as she dipped her head, as though she were ashamed of herself, as if she couldn’t look at him. “Jemma, trust me, this here, you know this isn’t how your story ends, because how else would I be sitting here?” No answer came to his question except silence and he knew that he had to do something, say something to get her out of this… whatever this was. “Jemma, I know things seem hard, they seem bad, like there’s nothing good that can come from this, but talking to him, it will help. I promise you, it will help. Holding this in, it can’t be good for you. Letting all your emotions pile up, bottling them up ‘cause one day, you’re just gonna overflow.”

“Did your mum tell you that?” she asked, still not looking up, gentle sobs still escaping her, tears still flowing down her face.

“Yeah, yeah she did. Told me her dad used to say it to her all the time when she was younger, whenever she got frustrated or anxious and wouldn’t talk about anything.”

“That’s Fitz,” Jemma whispered, finally allowing her eyes to meet his, her head only raising slightly. A half smile crossed her face, then she looked away again, unable to say anything. “I just don’t know how to tell them, to say that this to him, to the team, to everyone. Daisy…”

“You don’t have to tell them, not yet. You can tell them when this dies down, when things have calmed. But you can’t hide this from Fitz, not this.”

“But what if they don’t forgive him?”

“What happened, it was messed up, I’m not going to deny that, but from what you’ve said, from what my mom’s said, from what I’ve seen, Fitz isn’t a bad person. I _know_ he isn’t, just what happened, it shouldn’t have happened. But that one thing, that one mistake, it doesn’t make him a bad person, and sooner or a later, Daisy will come around, she’ll forgive him. I can see just how much they love and care for each other, but hiding this, Jemma, you shouldn’t. You have to tell him, and if you want me to, I’ll come with you so you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I’m just… I’m terrified, being a mother, everything that’s happening, it’s all…”

“You can do it,” he told her, hoping that his worlds were reassuring as he reached over and took her hand in his own, the side of one of his fingers catching against her ring. “Saving the world. Telling him. Being a mother. Mom, she always said that no matter what, you had the right words, the right comfort and advice to offer her, and don’t tell Fitz, but you always could do the voices in her books better than him.”

Her lips flicked up at this, and he swore he could sense something close to pride in the sparkle in her eyes. “If you want I’ll come with you, stand at the door, make sure you’re alone if you want. It’s what family is for, isn’t it, helping each other?”

She paused, considering this for a moment, and then she nodded, standing up, a small _oomph_ escaping her as she did so and Deke copied her, and walked across the lab with her, the two of them silent, and when he reached the door, he beckoned for her to go first. “After you Grandma.”


End file.
